ICYMI: Short Take Edition When Sharpies, Taco Raids, and Free Tariffs Make America Gripe Again
In which Bannon bawls, tourist get ICE'd, a taco joint serves DHS, trade by spite, and we hope you have hurricane insurance
Another 48 hours, another avalanche of GOP lunacy, brought to you by the folks who think “law and order” means detaining tourists, gutting hurricane forecasts, and threatening senators with arrest. While the world burns, the Trump cult fires up its smoke machine and asks, “Who needs facts when we’ve got feelings?” Buckle up! Here are five stories that’ll make you question whether the country needs therapy, an exorcism, or both.
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Short Take 1: Bannon’s Tantrum Over Ukraine's W
Ukraine scored a tactical win against Russia’s bomber fleet with a slick drone strike. Cue Steve Bannon, who proceeded to short-circuit on air, demanding Trump halt all Ukraine aid. Why? Because success in Kyiv is failure in MAGAland. The idea that democracy might beat authoritarianism has Bannon shrieking like a vampire at sunrise. This man sees Ukrainian victory as a personal affront, which tells you everything about whose side he's really on.
Short Take 2: ICE and NYPD Cosplay as the Keystone Cops
A Chilean tourist vacationing in NYC with her daughter was violently arrested by NYPD based on a hot tip from ICE—except it was the wrong woman. They cuffed her, tossed her in jail, and abandoned her 12-year-old on the street like a piece of lost luggage. And when they realized their oopsie? No apology, just a court summons. The incompetence would be laughable if it weren’t so cruelly routine.
ICE and NYPD Wrongfully Arrest Chilean Tourist, Leave 12-Year-Old Alone
While vacationing in New York City, Javiera Montero—a Chilean woman visiting with her 12-year-old daughter—was tackled and arrested by NYPD and ICE in the middle of Times Square.
Short Take 3: Minneapolis Taco Joint Gets SWAT’d by DHS
Las Cuatro Milpas, a family-run taqueria in Minneapolis, became the latest backdrop for a federal flex session. Armed agents from ICE, FBI, and other alphabet soup squads stormed the place under Trump’s shiny new Homeland Security Task Force. They claim it wasn’t an immigration raid, but ICE being there says otherwise. Local officials were blindsided, the community was terrorized, and we’re all supposed to just trust the feds weren’t there to score political points on taco Tuesday.
DHS Task Force Raids Minneapolis Latino Restaurant—Makes No Arrests
On June 3, federal agents from a brand-new Homeland Security task force stormed a Mexican restaurant in South Minneapolis with full tactical gear. We’re talking DHS, ICE, FBI, DEA, ATF, and IRS—all zeroing in on Taqueria y Birrieria Las Cuatro Milpas
Short Take 4: Trump's Trade Plan: Tariff Masochism as Policy
In a logic-defying act of economic self-harm, Trump’s Commerce stooges announced they’d reject even completely free trade offers from other countries because it might make China happy. You read that right: even if another nation drops all tariffs, MAGAland still wants a trade war. It’s not about strategy, it’s about sticking it to imaginary enemies while you pay more for everything at Walmart.
Short Take 5: Forecasting the Apocalypse... on a Budget
With hurricane season looming, Trump’s administration thought it’d be a swell time to slash NOAA and FEMA to the bone. Weather balloon launches are down, forecasts are getting sketchy, and offices that should be 24/7 are going dark. Why? Because Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency decided accurate storm tracking is too “woke.” And when FEMA’s boss jokes he didn’t know the U.S. has a hurricane season, it’s less “The Onion” and more “The Purge: Climate Edition.”
The Circus Has a Weather Policy Now
From abandoning children on the sidewalk to crippling our disaster response systems, MAGA's war on competence marches on. They're not trying to govern. They're trying to dismantle anything that proves government can help. The more chaos they create, the more they can sell themselves as the only cure. Just don’t ask what they’re actually curing, unless your insurance covers rage-induced migraines.
Same time next time. Bring snacks and whiskey.
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