So this morning, Donald J. Trump—the guy who thinks the stock market is just a mood ring for billionaires—hops on Truth Social and posts:
“THIS IS A GREAT TIME TO BUY!!! DJT”
Then, like clockwork, a few hours later—BOOM—he announces a 90-day pause on tariffs, and the stock market rallies like it just snorted a line of tax cuts.
This isn’t a coincidence. This is Trump’s new investment strategy: “Buy the dip, then tell the world you filled it in with gold.”
He’s basically the Wolf of Wall Street if the wolf had a Diet Coke addiction and spelled “China” with three syllables.
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Let’s be real: This man is treating Truth Social like it’s his personal CNBC, except without regulation, without ethics, and without pants (probably).
If anyone else posted cryptic “buy now” messages right before a government decision that sends the market into a frenzy, the SEC would show up faster than Rudy Giuliani at an open bar. But Trump? He’s above the law—or at least he thinks he is.
This is how banana republics work: the guy in charge pumps the market, profits from the chaos, and then claims divine foresight. It’s not just dangerous—it’s rigged.
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So next time someone tells you Trump’s a “brilliant businessman,” remind them:
Real businessmen don’t need to tweet stock tips before manipulating markets.
Because if you really believe this is just “economic strategy,” I’ve got some Trump NFTs to sell you—comes with a free subpoena.
Independent News. Just $1/Week.
We just hit 10,000 subscribers—thank you! To celebrate, we’re offering full access to The Coffman Chronicle for just $1 a week ($52/year).
Get exclusive analysis, daily rundowns, and fearless reporting you won’t find in corporate media.
Support truth. Stay informed.
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