God, Guns, and Craigslist Gigs
This Week in Authoritarian Absurdity: Newsom Rebels, the Church Preaches Resistance, and MAGA Still Pays for Applause
In the last 120 hours in American politics, fascism tried a soft launch in L.A., Craigslist trolled the GOP harder than SNL ever could, and even the Episcopalians are grabbing torches. Welcome to the dumpster fire. We’re just here to name the flames and maybe toast some s’mores. Here’s a recap.
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Short Take: Newsom to Trump: Keep Your Jackboots Off My Boulevard
By Team Coffman Chronicle
Gavin Newsom drew a line in the smog and told Trump to shove his National Guard cosplay back where it came from. Declaring L.A. off-limits for Trump's immigration dragnet, Newsom actually remembered he’s the governor of a blue state, not a bystander in a dystopian buddy cop flick.
Standoff in L.A.: Gavin Newsom Calls Out Trump’s “Authoritarian Dragnet”
Yesterday, California Governor Gavin Newsom took to the national stage with an urgent, scathing 8-minute address responding to President Trump’s decision to deploy U.S. Marines and federalized National Guard troops into Los Angeles.
Short Take: Even Episcopalians Have Had Enough of This Fascist Fanfic
By Team Coffman Chronicle
You know it's bad when the most polite Christians in America start dropping holy fire. The Episcopal Church called out Trump’s "Operation Border Ego" for what it is: dangerous, undemocratic, and wildly un-Christlike. Jesus wept, and then he filed an amicus brief.
The Church Stands Up: Episcopal Leader Slams Trump’s Immigration Crackdown
In a moment when many institutions remain silent, one just rang the bell.
Short Take: Need Applause? Just Craigslist It, Apparently
By Team Coffman Chronicle
A viral Craigslist post offered $1,000 for people to clap at a Trump rally. Real or not, it was peak 2024 vibes. Whether parody or prophecy, it nailed the MAGA brand: grift meets desperation, with a side of canned applause and a whiff of spray tan.
Craigslist Ad Nails It: Trump Still Paying for People to Love Him
This week, an eyebrow-raising Craigslist ad surfaced on the Washington, D.C. talent board — offering $1,000 in crypto, a fast-food lunch, and prime positioning in Donald Trump’s birthday military parade. The supposed job? Be a seat filler. Look like you love it. Especially if you're a person of color. Especially if you’ll “clap when told.”
Trump’s Cyber Decree: Disinfo for Me, Sanctions for Thee
By Team Coffman Chronicle
Trump’s latest cyber order guts oversight while pretending to go tough on foreign influence. It’s basically a get-out-of-jail-free card for domestic disinfo operations, as long as you wrap it in a flag and call it “patriot data solutions.”
How to Stage a Coup in Broad Daylight and Call It Security
By Team Coffman Chronicle
L.A. protesters showed up for justice; Trump saw a photo op for martial law. Tear gas, arrests, military on standby—it was authoritarian foreplay wrapped in a border security excuse. The goal wasn’t order—it was optics.
And that’s your last few days in Republican cosplay and real-time fascism creep. From church pulpits to cyberspace, it’s all one big red hat roleplay with fewer rules and more rubber bullets. Stay loud, stay woke, and stay ready. Next week’s script is already being written in crayon on a bathroom wall in Mar-a-Lago.
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