ICYMI: Burning the Future for Fun and Profit
The last 72 hours of articles you may have missed
Welcome back to America: the escape room where every door’s locked from the inside, the clues are written in Latin, and your team leader just pardoned a guy named “Harry-O.” This week delivered healthcare betrayal, education sabotage, AI hallucinations, and yet another Trumpian flex on the judicial system, all culminating in a Snarkitorial that could double as a DSM-5 entry. Let’s unspool the madness.
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Healthcare for Profit, Misery for the Masses
America’s healthcare model: premium prices, medieval outcomes. “A Right Denied” outlined how we spend $4.9 trillion just to let people die poor, sick, and insured by GoFundMe. Over 60,000 preventable deaths a year. Hundreds of thousands bankrupted. But hey, the F-35 is shiny, and that’s apparently what counts. This isn’t a system; it’s triage for capitalism.
A Right Denied: Why the U.S. Government Refuses to Treat Healthcare as a Human Right
In the wealthiest nation in human history, people are dying because they can’t afford to live. The United States spends $886 billion a year on defense, subsidizing war machines and overseas bases, while tens of millions of Americans can’t afford a trip to the doctor. We don’t lack the money to provide healthcare. We lack the political will.
Trump’s Education Bill: Bring Your Own Bootstraps
The “One Big Beautiful Bill” might as well be titled “No Loans for You, Peasant.” With 1980s loan caps in a 2025 cost-of-living crisis, Trump’s education plan traps students in a debt maze and tells them to be grateful for the exposure. Public school teachers, rural doctors, even electricians, are priced out unless they inherit wealth, or MAGA favors. It’s not a bug. It’s the blueprint.
The Price of Nostalgia: How Trump’s Education Bill Revives a Fantasy & Wrecks Our Future
For our readers who don’t have the time or will:
Pardon Me? Trump Opens the Velvet Rope for Diddy
Trump teased a pardon for Sean “Diddy” Combs, who’s facing federal charges including sex trafficking. No formal request, no real legal precedent—just vibes and a flashback to that time Diddy “liked him a lot.” Add that to the growing “Pardons for the Rich and Connected” package, now featuring tax cheats, rappers with arsenals, and every corrupt sheriff this side of the Mississippi.
TRUMP FLIRTS WITH PARDON FOR DIDDY: “I’d Look at the Facts”
President Donald Trump has indicated that he is open to considering a pardon for Sean "Diddy" Combs, who is currently on trial in New York on federal charges including sex trafficking, racketeering conspiracy, and transportation to engage in prostitution. When asked about the possibility during a White House press briefing on May 30, 2025, Trump stated,…
RFK Jr.’s Federal Health Report Was Brought to You by ChatGPT (Sort Of)
RFK Jr.’s “Make America Healthy Again” health report turned out to be an AI-enhanced hallucination citing studies that don’t exist, featuring ghost-authored science, and defended as “formatting issues.” Spoiler: If you’re blaming the margins, your data’s probably fake. This isn't policy; it’s public health cosplay with a chatbot co-writer. And it's already fueling anti-vax legislation. The real pandemic? Accountability voids.
Snarkitorial: Elon Checks Out, Trump Goes Full Telenovela, and the GOP Renames Reality
Elon Musk left his government job in a gold-gilded fugue state, Trump turned the White House into a fascist Vegas, and GOP lawmakers proposed naming the DC Metro the “Trump Train.” No, really. Trump handed out pardons like party favors—Todd Chrisley, NBA YoungBoy, Suge Knight may be next—and mused about exiling Princess Elisabeth from Harvard. RFK’s fake science PDF got cited in real legislation. Joni Ernst told constituents, “We’re all going to die,” when asked about Medicaid. Honestly, fair.
And in the most on-brand moment imaginable, Trump reportedly flew into a rage after learning Wall Street nicknamed him “TACO” (Trump Always Chickens Out). Nothing screams stability like a guy who can’t handle an acronym.
America the Profitable
This week proved once again: it’s not about governing, it’s about grifting. Trump’s America is one where celebrity crimes might get you a pardon, student loans get you bankruptcy, and healthcare gets you a death sentence—unless, of course, you’re wealthy, white, and wired into the system. The rest of us? We get slogans, debt, and maybe a gas mask for the apocalypse.
Keep calling, keep yelling, keep organizing, because they’re betting you won’t.
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