Getting Clowned 🤡

So, here we are again, folks. The culture war carousel spins on, and the latest announcement from MAGAland is this: The Great MAGA War on Woke is officially over! Apparently, it’s a decisive victory—like when a toddler declares themselves ‘King of the Playground.’ They’ve solved all the nation’s big problems by banning drag shows in diners no one goes to anymore and yelling about M&Ms not being sexy enough. Bravo, patriots. Job well done.

But now that the Great War on Woke is over, I guess it’s time to focus on the real problems, like billionaires sucking up the entire economy like a vacuum in reverse. They’re hoarding so much cash, even Scrooge McDuck is like, ‘Dude, pace yourself.’ These guys are out there treating public infrastructure like a buffet—and they’re still complaining that the roads aren’t paved with gold.

Here’s the trick, though: the culture wars were never about solving anything. They’re the halftime show while the billionaires pick your pocket. They’ve got us fighting over what bathrooms people use, while Jeff Bezos is out here turning entire towns into Amazon distribution centers with fewer labor rights than a medieval kingdom. And the politicians? They’re the cheerleaders. They’re not fighting billionaires—they’re writing them love letters that start with, ‘Dear Campaign Donor.’

You ever notice how they always tell us to blame somebody poorer than us? ‘Oh, it’s those immigrants, or those liberals, or those woke kids with their gender-neutral pronouns.’ Meanwhile, Elon Musk just shot a solid gold Tesla into space to see if it ‘felt right.’ We’re over here arguing about who’s ruining America, and it’s like, ‘Uh, yeah, it’s the guy who owns more yachts than there are schools in Mississippi.’

So here’s the deal: next time they tell you they’re fighting ‘woke culture,’ ask them, ‘When’s the war on greed gonna start?’ Or better yet, let’s make that a campaign slogan: Tax the billionaires, and throw in a few politicians while you’re at it. Because let’s face it, folks: if you’re not laughing at this circus, you’re the one getting clowned.